{"id":2646,"date":"2017-11-15T00:55:02","date_gmt":"2017-11-15T00:55:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dremmawagner.com\/?p=2646"},"modified":"2017-11-15T00:55:02","modified_gmt":"2017-11-15T00:55:02","slug":"5-keys-keep-couple-connected","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dremmawagner.com\/2017\/11\/15\/5-keys-keep-couple-connected\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Keys that keep my couple connected"},"content":{"rendered":"
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We have been married almost 17 years now and last week we took a 4 day trip to Sedona Arizona. It was the first time in 16 years, pretty much since we had our first child, that we took a few days of vacation just to ourselves \u2013 no seminars, no work and no kids.
\nAfter realizing that we looked at each other and the question touched our hearts, \u201cafter all those years will we enjoy each other\u2019s company like we used too? \u201c<\/p>\n

Of course, our getaway was wonderful and it brought us even deeper and closer to each other than we were.<\/p>\n

It allowed us to reflect on the key elements that supports our couple.
\n1.\u00a0Respect.<\/strong>\u00a0We don\u2019t always agree with each other but always try to understand he others point of view and try to understand where it is coming from so we can make compromises.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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In my practice I see many women not respecting their husbands anymore. \u00a0\u00a0And the husband in most cases doesn\u2019t respect them either.\u00a0 It takes them both on a downward spiral of frustration, hate and anger. \u00a0Regaining respect can be hard.\u00a0 We work on keeping the respect we have for each other using our 2nd<\/sup>\u00a0key \u2013 communication.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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2.\u00a0\u00a0Communication\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Woman and Men are so different \u2013 \u201cMen are from Mars, Woman are from Venus\u201d is the title of a famous book.\u00a0 Check out this pastor, Mark Gungor, talking about the differences between men\u2019s brains and women\u2019s brains to get a great laugh.\u00a0\u00a0Video<\/a>
\nWe need to communicate those differences to each other and understand them if we are truly communicating. \u00a0Women cannot expect guys to feel like them, and men cannot expect women to do the same.\u00a0 A safe space is needed to open up and feel comfortable in sharing one\u2019s needs. \u00a0Burton and I take the time to talk about how each other needs and feelings to find common ground and understanding.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Growing together.<\/strong>\u00a0Living life brings us experiences that enable us to grow.\u00a0 We learn new things make new discoveries, and experience life differently. Some of those experiences will happen on a personal level and some at a couple\u2019s level. Let me share a real life experience for more clarity. \u00a0C and F have been married for almost 15 years and when they started their life together a big part of it revolved around parties, friends, and alcohol. \u00a0As they grew older (and apart, moved a few times and had children, \u00a0C started paying attention to how alcohol, food and stress\u00a0 was impacting their family life. Her husband stayed in the stage of drinking and needed a couple glass a whiskey after a stressful day of work.\u00a0Take your partner on your healing journey, be interested in what the other is doing that will change him\/her. \u00a0\u00a0If our couple is not growing together then it may be growing apart.
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\n4.<\/strong>Share the load.<\/strong>\u00a0In our relationship we share the load of house work and professional work.\u00a0 \u00a0Men and women can take two very different roles in the house and in a couple.\u00a0 Some are stereotypical (mom at home, dad at work) and some not stereotypical, and many can get stuck in a role that is not really fulfilling.<\/p>\n

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In our couple from early on we both shared chores: \u00a0taking care of the kids, working, prepping dinner\u2026.\u00a0 I loved as a brand new mom being able to sleep in every other day.\u00a0 We arranged that the one who would get up during the night could sleep in and the other would handle the morning duties of a newborn baby.\u00a0 Now Burton cooks 2 days a week and takes care of the kids in the morning while I take afternoons. We try to shop and clean together often.\u00a0 We\u2019ve created a balance of work and family life by sharing the responsibilities of both.\u00a0 The fact that we share the work allows us to share the fun too!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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5.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0Kisses and touches.<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0People are amazed when they see us touch, kiss, and hold hands especially when they know we have been at it for 17 years. \u00a0We love the connection we have physically, emotionally and mentally. Touch is so powerful and so needed; it develops connections in the brain of newborn\u2019s and couples alike.\u00a0 A well known therapy for couples is to sleep naked.\u00a0Do you like holding hands and hugging?Explore touching if you are not familiar with it yet.\u00a0 You will soon understand the importance of it.\u00a0 A caress or kiss is one of the 5 Love languages. Do you know about the\u00a05 Love Languages<\/a>?<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Talking about fun, have you heard about the retreat for couples we are organizing?<\/p>\n

You can learn all about it\u00a0here<\/a><\/p>\n

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These are 5 of the most important keys that make our couple work beautifully. Of course there are more than these 5 and we would love to hear from you about your keys for success.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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